Let’s take a stroll down memory lane. Can you think back to a time when you felt completely at ease in the hands of a doctor or health professional?
What was it about that healthcare professional that made you feel safe, relaxed, and, dare I say, human again?
Perhaps it was their calming voice, or the way they took the time to listen, or maybe their smile that reassured you everything would be okay. Whatever it was, the experience likely left a lasting impact on you, one that probably made you feel like your health was in the right hands.
That feeling is not just a pleasant memory — it’s tied to better health outcomes. And when you feel seen and understood by your healthcare team, it’s a win-win.
As a doctor who also needs healthcare, I can tell you firsthand: knowing what you need from the professionals who manage your health is just as important as knowing how to give that care. Understanding what makes us tick can lead to more effective care, better relationships, and ultimately, better health outcomes. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: I use the Enneagram to help me navigate my relationships with doctors, too.
If you’ve never heard of it, the Enneagram is a personality system that describes three distinct ways of thinking, reflecting, feeling, and making decisions.
While we all have aspects of these archetypes in us, each of us has a predominant “center” from which we operate most frequently. The Enneagram splits these centres into three categories: brain, heart, and gut types. These are the main lenses through which we process life’s challenges
and make decisions. No catagory type is wrong, they are simply how we make decisions, and how we have fulfilling relationships – professionally and personally.
The Enneagram: how we experience the world and make decisions
Have you ever found yourself acting in ways that seem perfectly natural to you, but baffling to those around you?
Or maybe you’ve wondered why certain situations stir up deep emotions in you, while they roll off others like water off a duck’s back?
The Enneagram, a personality framework based on three main ways of making decisions, can offer valuable insights into how we process the world and make decisions.
But let’s clear something up right away: these aren’t good or bad types. They aren’t right or wrong ways of being. Instead, they represent unique perspectives, guiding how we interpret experiences, relate to others, and even make everyday choices about everything from hobbies to health care.
Understanding your dominant Enneagram style can lead to more fulfilling relationships, smoother outcomes, and—perhaps surprisingly—improved health, too.
As a doctor and a patient, the Enneagram is something I use almost daily. It’s a helpful tool for understanding not only my own reactions but also how I engage with the world around me. Take fear, for example. How do you manage fear when it creeps up unexpectedly?
When I find myself in the dentist’s chair — a place I’m sure many can relate to with a certain level of dread — my coping mechanism is connection. I ask the hygienist to talk about something lighthearted — maybe a fabulous holiday,
a delicious new recipe, or a show everyone’s buzzing about.
Sure, it’s a distraction, but more importantly, it creates connection. While the drill is drilling, I’m not alone. I’m engaged, grounded by the human interaction.
Similarly, if you happen to be beside me during a bumpy flight, you might notice a curious transformation. My usual shyness melts away, and suddenly, I’m asking all sorts of questions. Where are you headed? What do you do for work? I may even be rambling on about the best travel destinations.
While this doesn’t change the outcome of the flight, it does shift my focus from the potential turbulence to the person beside me. After all, if things go south, at least I’m not alone, and at least I’ve connected with someone.
For a “heart type,” like me, there is hardly a greater loneliness than being surrounded by people yet feeling isolated, invisible, or disconnected. We crave connection, especially in moments of fear or uncertainty. But the way we feel safe and peaceful can differ between enneagram types.
For example, when turbulence strikes, and it’s my husband beside me, his response couldn’t be more different. His immediate reaction isn’t to seek connection, but to share his well researched knowledge. “Did you know,” he
might say, “that flying is one of the safest ways to travel?”
He rattles off statistics about the low risks of flying compared to other common activities like driving. He talks about the engineering behind large planes, how they are designed to manage turbulence. This knowledge brings him calm. Can you guess his Enneagram type? Yep, he’s a “brain type,” also known as a “head type.”
Brain types, or head types, seek out research, facts, and statistics. In moments of anxiety or fear, they often retreat into their minds, analyzing the situation through data and knowledge. Whether they’re researching the safety of airplanes, the best home appliances, or a surgeon, they thrive on facts and studies and degrees. For them, knowledge isn’t just power; it’s a shield.
On the other hand, heart types are more likely to seek someone who can attune to their emotions. We crave validation and empathy. When fear strikes, we want to know that someone is present with us, not just with their mind, but with their heart. We need that human connection, that acknowledgment of our feelings.
Now, let’s not forget the gut types, or instinctive types.
If I were seated next to one of them during that turbulent flight, they might not be immediately swayed by fear or anxious thoughts. Gut types tend to operate from their instincts and intuition. They seek action, confidence, and practical solutions.
They’ll likely be the ones who calmly assess the situation and take charge, whether that means helping others feel safe or finding a way to reassure the group.
Understanding these types — whether you’re a heart, head, or gut type — can dramatically improve how we connect with others, particularly in high-stress situations. It can also influence how we engage with our health care providers. For example, as a doctor, I’ve learned that some patients want reassurance through research, while others want to be listened to and comforted.
Some need practical advice, while others need an empathetic presence. The more we understand ourselves, and the people we interact with, the more empowered we are to cultivate healthier, more satisfying relationships and experiences.
The Enneagram isn’t a set of rules or judgments. It’s a lens through which we can view ourselves and the world around us. By recognizing our natural ways of thinking and behaving, we can shift from automatic responses to more intentional choices, especially when it comes to managing stress, fear, or decision-making.
So, whether you’re trying to calm nerves before a flight, choose the best health care plan, or simply connect more deeply with others, the Enneagram offers a framework to better understand what drives you and those around you.
The more we embrace the Enneagram, the more we can build lives that are truly aligned with our authentic selves—and, ultimately, create a world with deeper connection and understanding.
One of the ways the enneagram helps me most as a doctor is understanding what my patient wants from me. Can you guess what a heart type seeks? A strong bond built on trust, empathy, compassion, and feeling seen, heard and understand.
A brain type seeks knowledge, facts, statistics, studies, a track record of performance and cutting edge research. I ensure that I can refer my patients to the best ‘brains’ in specialty medicine, who have deep knowledge and experience.
A gut type has an intuitive connected to their body and often gut instincts that align with what needs attention in their body. When I listen to a gut type, they often tell me clearly what they are experiencing in their symptoms and their body, versus feelings which are top of mind for a heart type.
Finally, because these are the three centers that we use to think, a brain type uses their cognitive abilities predominantly, so optimal brain health is key.
For heart types, strong emotions may impact their heart health, and there is robust evidence that a type A personality has a higher incidence of heart disease.
For a gut type, optimal digestive function and a happy gastrointestinal tract is vital, because they use their gut to think! Understanding how you make decisions and have fulfilling relationships can boost your health outcomes and your health esteem! —LP
